My last post, which was in response to this, pointed out the less-than-helpful nature of transparency for transparency’s sake. I’d like to make a few more observations on that topic.
First, that privacy is inherent in relationships. Just like it’s healthy for a married couple to keep counsel with each other, secrets between you and God are a helpful thing.
Every believer is a priest. That means direct access to the throne of God. You don’t need to confess to any human unless you’re seeking forgiveness.
Unity derives from love, not from spilling your guts in front of strangers.
Your mind belongs to you as much as your body does, so you should protect its chastity just as fiercely. No one gets free access to your mind without your permission.
Keeping accountable to spiritual mentors is helpful.
The church should be a place where people are loved, where sinners come in and know love as the utterly selfless charity that the Bible describes and that God himself exhibits.
Transparency is a buzzword, not a biblical mandate.
Favorite line? “Unity derives from love, not from spilling your guts in front of strangers.”
I will comment, though, that I think an atmosphere of love would allow for a greater amount of transparency than we currently have and that I don’t think that would be an entirely bad thing to have more of. I agree that transparency for transparency’s sake is actually more harmful than helpful, and I also agree that a lack of transparency is just a symptom of the real problem: a lack of true biblical love.
Thanks for another great post, Liz!
Thanks for always reading and leaving thoughtful comments! Sounds like we pretty much agree.
Transparency isn’t something that can be faked or forced if the person doesn’t want it.
Good point! It should definitely be natural.
Everyone is right on, I think. Transparency is a gift that simply develops organically as a relationship develops. This is not a gift you get with every relationship; that relationship has to be one of genuine care in EVERY area of life–not just areas of sinful temptation, etc.
The problems arise when believers have ZERO relationships in which they feel SAFE enough to be “transparent.” The answer for those brothers and sisters starts in the Church–not a Student Body lecture. The problem is that most of us view church as that thing that we do on SUNDAYS–rather than who we are BETWEEN Sundays. So, that’s not very helpful for a BJU dorm student who is 600 miles from the tiny backwoods church he grew up in. Unless we can start teaching our “churches” down here how to actually be a Church of disciples/disciple-makers (i.e. people who teach one another love by demonstrating love throughout the everyday, unscheduled, informal things we do and interactions we have). When we build relationships that way, transparency will come. And THEN it will truly be a GIFT, not a mandate.
Thanks, Liz.
Another good point(s). Discipling is more than meeting once a week over coffee. Thanks. And you’re welcome.
[...] “To Be Perfectly Honest” - A blogger writes on “the less-than-helpful nature of transparency for transparency’s sake” that is becoming quite popular in some Christian circles. Although I believe transparency is important and even crucial, I’ve all too often seen it misused as the basis for which to build relationships, rather than the outflow of a healthy, Christ-centered relationship. The author states this well, “Unity derives from love, not from spilling your guts in front of strangers.” [...]